One of my great regrets is I never had a daughter. I had a son, but thats all. Now, i lov my son (even though he drives me up the wall sometimes, he's so disorganised and laid back), i will never stop wishing I had a daughter.
I had a substitute daughter (we'll call her S), that went all wrong (she was from a highly dysfunctional family and ended up running away at 13, ending up pregnant by an immigrant at 14 and having a second one by another at 15). It was a shame. Even though she wasn't my daughter, I loved her so much, because I WANTED her to be my daughter. However, her truly appalling parents managed to screw her up so much she ran away, many times, and ended up locked up in a Secure Unit (which basically are childrens prisons). She wanted her parents to love her, which they couldnt, because they were selfish white council trash, and I wanted her to love me, which she couldn't, because she wanted option a). Having said that, i did my best to give her a nice childhood - taking her places with us, including holidays, and buying her whatever she wanted. We did some good - she would stay weekends and holidays with us, we provided a welcome safe haven from all the verbal, mental and physical abuse she got at home the useless Social Workers ignored. and between the ages of 6 and 12 I really looked after her - her useless mother and selfish drug dealer boyfriend was well pleased to dump her on me, they didn't want her round at all really. I was even down as the second parental contact at her school for her.
Anyway, once she hit 12 and the hormones kicked in, this little simmering cauldron finally blew its lid, and she ran away. For FOURTEEN WEEKS!!! I learnt alot about a world I knew nothing about beforehand, because of it.
She had a cousin, 5 years older, G, whos mother was the sister of S's appalling mother. She had already run away, shacked up with a chap 30 years older, got pregnant, been thrown out, shacked up with a bunch of illegal immigrants, lost custody of the baby to the father, and we dont have room to go into all the minor little dramas, such as the times she was arrested , the number of flats and houses she rented then cleared off owing thousands in rent, and the various court cases for shoplifting, fighting....a real little charmer. S decided she wanted to be like G, and live a life of wild abandon, all very exciting. G provided S with places to hide (amongst her illegal immigrant friends), food, clothing drinks , drugs and unlimited sex with dozens of randy Iraquis and Kurds, most of whom preferred girls between10 and 14 years old. A disgusting national culture.
The law basically protects girls of that age in that they can do what the hell they like and its almost impossible to stop them. The police have no powers to enter a premises to look for a runaway minor. They can apply for a magistrates warrant and return with it to enter and search, if they believe they know what residence she's in, buy which time she's long gone. Every time they DID catch her, they woudl take her back to her appalling parents (at the insistence of the brainless cretins in Social Services), and within 24 hours she's be gone again. They put her in a foster home, gone in 6 hours, she lasted two weeks at friends house till she decided she didn't like being told that at 13 she wasn't allowed to drink, smoke and have sex with strangers,. The even let her stay with G for a while, till they saw the appalling squalor SHE lived in, and so they both vanished again when they tied to take S back into care. After the 12th time in 14 weeks of being caught by the police, she was finally locked up for her own good, for nearly 18 months. I, not being related in any way, was cut right out the loop, and never saw her again. The anguish of losing her like this gave me a mental breakdown, just as losing a daughter would anyone.
Out standing in this was the sheer brainless political correctness and lack of common sense of Social Services, the utter incompetence of the Police, and the way we have made this country powerless to deal with children. S was quickly educated as to her legal rights, and within a few weeks, knew the system inside out She knew EXACTLY what she was entitled to to, and society was powerless to stop her.
And this is the nub of the problem. Rights without responsibilities. It is madness to give rights to children without teaching them they lose those rights if they don't live up to there responsibilities to society. It the first step in making good citizens, and we've thrown it out the window.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Of course, when you a child you don't understand why things are nice. At the basic level, I liked being humiliated and punished when I was a child, but of course you don't know it consciously. I just knew I found certain things pleasurable, such as being spanked. Other things were nice, and again it boiled down to humiliation.
As long as I can remember I was made to wear white rubber pants (this being just after World War two), because I wet the bed and wet my pants. I liked the nice warm glow in my pants when i wet them, but I didn't know why i liked it, it was just nice and warm and yummy. In retrospect, you can see that I liked the humiliation afterwards of having to tell my mum I'd wet the bed or my pants, and the humiliation and pain of being spanked in front of my sisters, and sometimes her friends.
I was lucky in that spankings were an accepted way of punishing children, usually the first and only punishment. People spanked children, and no-one thought twice about it. I was spanked mainly by my mother, but I also was spanked by my mothers friends, my aunts, and teachers - in fact having my pants taken down and spanked in front of my class mates was doubly deliciously humiliating, not only for the spanking, but for the fact everyone got to see I was wearing white rubber pants and therefore I wet my pants.
In the 50's and 60's, Woolworths Stores sold plastic raincoats, and I was always fascinated by them, and was very pleased to have to wear my black plastic mac, belted and buttoned up, and walking along hand in hand. Only poor people had to wear plastic macs, and I liked it because
girls giggled at me and laughed. I was attracted to girls who wore plastic macs, and the thrill of touching a girls leg through the blue plastic was very memorable. In the60's, raincoats evolved into marvelously sexy PVC macs.
I also liked sucking a dummy when i was a child, and had one in bed till i was about 12 and all the time during the day till I was about 7, and even then I sucked my thumb most of the time afterwards.
I also liked crying, I still cant explain why to this day. I would cry at the slightest, and especially when being spanked, if my dummy was taken away (even when I was seven), and I liked girls - I liked being with girls and playing with girls things, like dollies and prams, and would frequently play with two little girls about 3 years younger than me.
As long as I can remember I was made to wear white rubber pants (this being just after World War two), because I wet the bed and wet my pants. I liked the nice warm glow in my pants when i wet them, but I didn't know why i liked it, it was just nice and warm and yummy. In retrospect, you can see that I liked the humiliation afterwards of having to tell my mum I'd wet the bed or my pants, and the humiliation and pain of being spanked in front of my sisters, and sometimes her friends.
I was lucky in that spankings were an accepted way of punishing children, usually the first and only punishment. People spanked children, and no-one thought twice about it. I was spanked mainly by my mother, but I also was spanked by my mothers friends, my aunts, and teachers - in fact having my pants taken down and spanked in front of my class mates was doubly deliciously humiliating, not only for the spanking, but for the fact everyone got to see I was wearing white rubber pants and therefore I wet my pants.
In the 50's and 60's, Woolworths Stores sold plastic raincoats, and I was always fascinated by them, and was very pleased to have to wear my black plastic mac, belted and buttoned up, and walking along hand in hand. Only poor people had to wear plastic macs, and I liked it because
girls giggled at me and laughed. I was attracted to girls who wore plastic macs, and the thrill of touching a girls leg through the blue plastic was very memorable. In the60's, raincoats evolved into marvelously sexy PVC macs.I also liked sucking a dummy when i was a child, and had one in bed till i was about 12 and all the time during the day till I was about 7, and even then I sucked my thumb most of the time afterwards.
I also liked crying, I still cant explain why to this day. I would cry at the slightest, and especially when being spanked, if my dummy was taken away (even when I was seven), and I liked girls - I liked being with girls and playing with girls things, like dollies and prams, and would frequently play with two little girls about 3 years younger than me.
Monday, November 5, 2007
Childhood
shapes what you are.
When i was a child, i knew i liked various things. I liked the nice warm glow between my legs when I wet the bed, so i wasnt to keen to stop, so I had white rubber pants and a rubber sheet on my bed till I was 12 years old. I also liked sucking my thumb and sucking a dummy in bed at night, which I did till I was also nearly 13. whenever my mother decided I had stopped wetting, and take the rubber pants and sheet off, i would deliberately wet the bed to get them reinstated, which had the added bonus of getting me a nice spanking.
I liked the feeling of being held nice and tight over an adults knee with my shorts and pants round my ankles and I liked the humiliation of being spanked by an adult, so i was deliberately naughty. My mother would taker my pants down, pull me over her knee and give me a good stiff spanking, which made me cry, by it was always worth it to feel that lovely feeling I got from being held over the knee and having my bottom smacked hard.
I liked the clothes little girls wore, and so I would sit and play with little girls younger than me, with there dollies and prams, sucking a dummy like they did, wishing I could wear pretty dresses, frilly socks and pretty court shoes like they did. When I got older, my parents would leave my sister in charge of me, and she would be to engrossed on the phone with her friends,so I used to sneak into her bedroom and dress up in her underwear, a pretty dress, white knee socks and shiny patent court shoes, and sucking my dummy, and look at myself in the mirror, wishing I could dress like that all the time.
I also liked the plastic macs of the time. and was well pleased when it rained, because I would have to put on my nice black plastic raincoat from Woolworths and my shiny black wellingtons.
I was always just naughty enough to ensure I got a spanking at least once a week, and was always submissive and obedient when told I was going to be punished, such that I was still getting bare bottom paddlings with a wooden paddle when I was 16.
SO of course, when I grew up, I sought out bossy, domineering and sadistic girls, and had three very satisfying relationships with girls who dominated and humiliated me, and one girl in particular who would whip and beat me regularly, and humiliated me deliciously all the time and publicly by openly having sex with several other men whilst keeping me in a chastity restraint and without sex, and using me as a slave. There were several wonderfully humiliating moments when I had to kneel and thank other men for fucking her for me, and even bringing them breakfast in bed after they had spent all night with her. Thats was the nicest 10 years of my life, until she moved on to Australia.
So I can understand why women stay with men who beat them and cheat on them - they like it, its a simple as that. The adore the humiliation of being beaten up and dominated, just like I have done for so many years.
When i was a child, i knew i liked various things. I liked the nice warm glow between my legs when I wet the bed, so i wasnt to keen to stop, so I had white rubber pants and a rubber sheet on my bed till I was 12 years old. I also liked sucking my thumb and sucking a dummy in bed at night, which I did till I was also nearly 13. whenever my mother decided I had stopped wetting, and take the rubber pants and sheet off, i would deliberately wet the bed to get them reinstated, which had the added bonus of getting me a nice spanking.
I liked the feeling of being held nice and tight over an adults knee with my shorts and pants round my ankles and I liked the humiliation of being spanked by an adult, so i was deliberately naughty. My mother would taker my pants down, pull me over her knee and give me a good stiff spanking, which made me cry, by it was always worth it to feel that lovely feeling I got from being held over the knee and having my bottom smacked hard.
I liked the clothes little girls wore, and so I would sit and play with little girls younger than me, with there dollies and prams, sucking a dummy like they did, wishing I could wear pretty dresses, frilly socks and pretty court shoes like they did. When I got older, my parents would leave my sister in charge of me, and she would be to engrossed on the phone with her friends,so I used to sneak into her bedroom and dress up in her underwear, a pretty dress, white knee socks and shiny patent court shoes, and sucking my dummy, and look at myself in the mirror, wishing I could dress like that all the time.
I also liked the plastic macs of the time. and was well pleased when it rained, because I would have to put on my nice black plastic raincoat from Woolworths and my shiny black wellingtons.
I was always just naughty enough to ensure I got a spanking at least once a week, and was always submissive and obedient when told I was going to be punished, such that I was still getting bare bottom paddlings with a wooden paddle when I was 16.
SO of course, when I grew up, I sought out bossy, domineering and sadistic girls, and had three very satisfying relationships with girls who dominated and humiliated me, and one girl in particular who would whip and beat me regularly, and humiliated me deliciously all the time and publicly by openly having sex with several other men whilst keeping me in a chastity restraint and without sex, and using me as a slave. There were several wonderfully humiliating moments when I had to kneel and thank other men for fucking her for me, and even bringing them breakfast in bed after they had spent all night with her. Thats was the nicest 10 years of my life, until she moved on to Australia.
So I can understand why women stay with men who beat them and cheat on them - they like it, its a simple as that. The adore the humiliation of being beaten up and dominated, just like I have done for so many years.
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